Monday, September 12, 2011

The Sun Rises

My husband and I tried for over a year to conceive our daughter. It was one struggle after another and my doctor couldn't offer an explanation for why we weren't getting pregnant. I was about at the end of my ability to handle the stress of "trying" and decided to give it about six more months. After those six months, I was going to give up on my dream of having a child of my own. That decision hit me like a Mac truck and was the hardest decision I have ever had to come to. Fortunately, after the decision was made I found out I was finally pregnant with our daughter, who is now 11 months old and is our own little Rae of Sunshine.

August 29, 2010 - 1 month from official due date.
My pregnancy was a cake walk and as my doctor said, "A boring pregnancy is the best kind." The only concern we really had was her size since my family is known for making BIG babies (I was 11 pounds!). After carrying Rae a week past her due date we decided to schedule a C-section. This decision was not lightly made either, but she never dropped, I never dilated, and then add in the worry that she was well over 9 pounds and you have a few good reasons for opting for a C-section. Everything went wonderfully. She arrived with 10 fingers, 10 toes, a head covered in reddish blonde hair, and GIGANTIC cheeks. To everyone's surprise, she was only 8lbs 4ozs. But our Rae had a small storm cloud following behind that I don't think any parent could prepare for. There were no obvious signs that a problem was looming just over the horizon. No test performed would detect it and it would take months before the physical symptoms would manifest themselves. Our daughter has Hypotonia.

It isn't insurmountable, but everyday things that we often take for granted will be difficult for Rae to master. Her physical milestones will be outside of the range of "normal" and as a result my conceptions of "normal" are being redefined on a daily basis. I intend to share the difficulty we had conceiving, my "boring" pregnancy & long awaited birth of Rae, and our journey into the world of Hypotonia (along with other hurdles thrown in our way). Hopefully, the things I write will be helpful to someone else. As I have been told repeatedly, "You are NOT alone."


  1. I admire you for sharing these deeply personal highs and lows. I've had to take a break from reading to get the tissues (something in my eye!)but I think you write beautifully and hope this can help others. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the reminder to never forget how lucky I am...

  2. I just came across your page on Facebook. It is like I'm reading my thoughts and everything word for word! Our pregnancies were just alike. My son, just like your daughter, never dripped and delivery ended in c section. And true to form, Alexander weighed 8lbs 4oz. Our Xander was diagnosed immediately after birth with Hypotonia. He was in the NICU for a months waiting on every test known to man. All of which came back normal. That's great, but still no reason as to what caused it. He'll start physical therapy doing, as well speech therapy once a week. We're just getting started as he's 3 months old. Keep posting as much as you can! It truly does help knowing we're not the only ones!