Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wishful Thinking

Today I had to run some errands. Nothing major, but I wanted to get some supplies to make a sensory box for Rae (popcorn and a rubbermaid box). There must have been a crazy high demand for popcorn at Target because the shelf was empty. So, I had to swing by Wal-Mart and while driving from one store to another Rae fell asleep. This has happened before and in an effort to keep her asleep I pad the buggy with a cart cover, blanket, and travel neck pillow. So, in Rae's usual laid back fashion, she "shopped" comfortably with her feet dangling over the edge of our buggy.

Shopping in Style
Well, while meandering through the giant aisles filled with Christmas goodies, I noticed a young woman coming towards us with a little girl about Rae's age (maybe a slight bit older) sitting up in the bottom portion of her buggy. As the distance between us decreased I found myself thinking, "I wish I could sit Rae in my cart like that." Of course this thought is something I keep to myself, but there are occasions I find myself wishing Rae was physically able to do what other "normal" children are able to do. While we passed each other in the aisle I over heard the young woman tell her shopping companion that she, "wished ______ (insert girl's name) would lay in the cart like that."

I shuddered and spoke under my breath, "Be careful what you wish for."

You never know what you will actually get when you wish for something. If that young woman knew about Rae's condition and the struggles that come from it, she may have thought twice about thinking she'd rather her young daughter contently lay in a buggy. But, she didn't and from her perspective she might have thought having a child that was so content to just rest peacefully in a buggy while she shopped would be ideal.  For me it is the exact opposite. When I hear other mothers exclaim how they now have to chase their children around the house or baby proof everything because Baby Jane/John won't stay in one place my heart swells with envy. I long the opportunity to chase Rae around the house, but for now she is content to lay peacefully in one place.

So, no matter what is going on try to careful what you wish for because outward appearances aren't always as ideal as they may seem.

1 comment:

  1. I can only imagine what you go through and I'm sure my imagination does not do justice. Little Rae is blessed to have you as her mama. Praying for you all.