The Results...Final Act

Now that we've gone to the doctor, made it out of the parking garage, past reception, and completed the EEG...it's time to hear the results (...and there was much rejoicing. Yay!).

Of course, I was a little less than enthusiastic and more apprehensive since my gut was twisted up in knots and would not shut up. It just kept telling myself that I already knew the answer so why don't I just admit it to myself and move forward. But I didn't listen. I wanted to cling to the last shred of hope that I may have left. Sure the evidence was stacked against us, but maybe it's all just a misunderstanding (cue nervous laughter). Rae's fine. We're fine. Everything is fine. (borderline crazy at this point)

I hardly slept...

Our appointment was for 10:45am. Okay. I can handle that. That gives me plenty of time to get Rae dressed, fed, and ready for another long day. Heck, there was even enough time for me to have my 3 cups of coffee and make myself somewhat presentable. I nervously fluttered around the house packing snacks, bottles, lunch, and toys to keep Rae content and occupied. I turned the key to my KIA at 10:15. That gave me 30 minutes to drive 7 miles to Nemours. More than enough time to secure a decent parking space (close to the elevators), glide through check-in (charge please), ride an elevator to the Neurology department, and sit in the lobby until a medical assistant call's our name. At least that is what I thought...

The appointment was at 10:35! Ten minutes sooner than I meticulously planned for...CRAP!! 

Cue emotional over-reaction...(right on schedule) My mind raced through all the possible scenarios (mainly every possible variation of the same one)...what if I'm late enough that they make us reschedule and then I have to wait all weekend for the results?!?! I make frantic phone calls to Nemours, my husband, and my mother. I also yell at some heifer in a Mercedes (aren't we important) too busy applying make-up to notice the light has been green for a minute now and she just sits there...OBLIVIOUS! I beeped my horn casually...not too long to be obnoxious, but long enough to garner some attention. Well Miss. Benz sat through the entire green light and managed to sit through half of the second one (I believe it was intentional since I dared to beep my KIA horn at her). I was losing it BIG time! Time was just ticking away and the reality of our most recent situation was no longer at bay. I was in full blown meltdown. Yes, my husband heard most of this meltdown via phone and I'm not great at apologizing for these moment...I'm flawed that way...but I try to make it up in other ways. (honestly I buy/make him treats, a pattern I learned from my Dad...I know I'm a P.I.T.A. that's how I apologize for it)

After a very stressful trip to Nemours, I managed to secure parking, speed through check-in, ride the elevator, and have our named called with little fanfare. (thank you Lord) Now we wait in our tiny exam room for Nurse P. to come in and tell us what we already know (thanks again stupid gut).

Rae has epilepsy...

The seizures are starting in one part of the brain so it is considered a partial seizure. Since she's non-responsive this makes them complex seizures and it looks like (referencing the test) the seizure is moving (secondary generalization) to include both parts of her brain. We want to start her on Keppra (warning child may become irritable...whee!) and the dosage will more than likely have to be adjusted. Monitor her for the next couple of weeks to see how she is responding to the medication. She hands me a thick book about epilepsy, informs me Dr. H wants to have another MRI completed, some additional blood work and a follow-up with a colleague Dr. B after the MRI.

The rest is a giant blur... My mind went numb with information...

We went to the lab for a very uneventful blood draw, wove our way out of the clinic, packed everything back into our KIA, and drove to see Mimi. God only knows what I would do without Rae's Mimi... Then, after all the excitement, I drove to Toy R Us to buy a new toy only to discover that Rae had eaten her band-aid (I swear she eats everything she can get into her mouth). Fortunately, it didn't make it past the roof of her mouth (thank you again Lord). A little therapeutic shopping and it was time to go home with a sneezing Ernie clasped in her tiny, bruised hand.

Do any of you over react to something completely unrelated to what you're actually upset over? I hope I'm not the only one...